At Elevenses someone played this, and I love the song, but the lyrics are definitely lore-breaking. So instead of The Wreck of the Edmunds Fitzgerald, here's The Tale of the Battle of Five Armies.
The legend lives on from the Dunadain on down
Of the hobbit they called 'Bilbo Baggins'
The lad, it is said, wrote a book that was red
Then the skies above Mordor turned gloomy
When a load of iron dwarves searching far for Erebor
Came and left Bilbo's pantry quite empty
That good dwarven crew left not a bone to be chewed
When the tales of Mithrandir came early
Bilbo was the pride of the old Tookish side
Living up on Bag End in Hobbiton
As big as hobbits grow, he was bolder than most
With a stew and good chicken well seasoned
Concluding dwarf terms that Gandolf confirms
They then left fully loaded for Bree land
And later they sang when Bree Town's bell rang
Could it be the north wind they'd been feelin'?
The wind in the trees made a tattle-tale sound
And a roar broke out through the treeline
And every dwarf knew, as Bilbo did too,
T'was the trolls of the Trollshaws come stealin'
The dawn came late, second breakfast had to wait
When the daylight of Mithrandir came shinin'
When Midyear's Day came it was freezin' rain
And they faced a long climb through the mountains
When Goblintown came, the old Took paved the way sayin'
Fellas, it's too tough to free ya
At seven pm was when Gandolf came in, he said
Fellas, here's some weapons for ya
Then Bilbo yelled in he had goblins comin' in
And the good dwarven crew was in peril
And later on still they all met king Thranduil
Came the ride of their lives in some barrels
Does any one know where old Mithrandir goes
When the days turn the minutes to hours?
The dwarves they all say that they'll make Lake-town Bay
If they put fifteen more miles behind em
They might have split up or they might have capsized
They may have broke deep and took water
But they still remain, and aren't here to play games
With yer wives or yer sons or yer daughters
In old dwarven halls, the Arkenstone sings
In the rooms of Smaug's gold-piled mansion
The old dragon screams when Bilbo can't be seen
And flies to Long Lake to kill Dale-men.
And farther below Bard's heart he did show
Drew back the black arrow and sent her
And with Smaug taken low all the mariners now know
With the tales of Five Armies remembered
In a musty old hall in the Shire they played,
In the back of the Bird and the Baby
They sang about rings, and dragons with wings, and
The Tale of the Battle of Five Armies.
The legend lives on from the Dunadain on down
Of the hobbit they called 'Bilbo Baggins'
The lad, it is said, wrote a book that was red
And the skies above Mordor turned gloomy