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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Just today I was watching/listening to some fellow kinnies play some music in the Prancing Pony, and at some point in time someone played a song, but they mentioned that they didn't have the lyrics for it.  My wits were Muddled at the time so I can't remember who it was, or what song...but anyways...after that and seeing Slipsee's hilarious parody of Beverly Hillbillies in the Appledumpling thread, I decided to make this thread, where I will, and others can, post parody LOTR lyrics to popular songs.  Feel free to use...

I'm not sure if this one has already been done by someone else, but here's my rendition of America's Horse With No Name:

 

On the first part of the journey

I was walkin through Midgewater Swamp

There were goblins and ruins and gnats and things

There was water and hills and rings

The first thing I met was a fly with a buzz

And the sky with dark clouds

The heat was hot and the ground was wet

and the air was full of sounds

 

I've been through the lone-lands on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the lone-lands you can find the Eglain

and there plenty of orcs for you to give some pain

La, la

 

After two days in the lone-lands sun

The Maid began to turn Red

After three days in the lone-lands fun

I was looking at Garth Agarwen's dead

And the story they told of lost Ivar's soul

Made me wish I was back in my bed

 

You see I've been through the lone-lands on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the lone-lands you can find the Eglain

and there are plenty of orcs and quite a few crabain

La, la

 

After nine days I let the horse run free

'Cause the lone-lands had turned to sea

There were wights and trolls and orcs and things

there was swamps and hills and rings

Harloeg's in the lone-lands and it's life is undeath

with a swampy disguise above

In fallen cities and the Circle of Blood

the Bog-lurkers will give no love

 

You see I've been through the lone-lands on a horse with no name

It felt good to be out of the rain

In the lone-lands you can find the Eglain

and there are plenty of orcs for you to give some pain

La, la



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

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shawnt63
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Wonderful Job Luvy tried them out at Dulcet Tones Practice and they work very well indeed!

Woot woot!

 



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Lyrabelle Rumble
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Luvy, that was awesome! :)  Gave me several good giggles. :)

 

Slipsee Diggle
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Hahaha, Oh, I love this! Great job!!! 

(Not an easy song to work with either - hats off!) 



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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Thanks!  Again, got the idea from Slipsee to try it mys elf.  :)

 

 

This is a re-write of Leslie Gore's It's My Party.....thinking of Bilbo's goin' away party...

 

It's my party, and I'll fly if I want to

Fly if I want to, fly if I want to

You would fly too if it happened to you

 

Nobody knows where that Frodo has gone

But Gandolf left the same time

Why was he holding that ring

When it's supposed to be mine

 

It's my party, and I'll fly if I want to

Fly if I want to, fly if I want to

You would fly too if it happened to you

 

Playin' your music, keep dancin' all night

But leave me alone for a while

Till Frodo gives me my ring

I've got no reason to smile

 

It's my party, and I'll fly if I want to

Fly if I want to, fly if I want to

You would fly too if it happened to you

 

Gandolf and Frodo just walked through the door

Like a mage with his king

Oh what a birthday surprise

Frodo's holdin' my ring

 

It's my party, and I'll fly if I want to

Fly if I want to, fly if I want to

You would fly too if it happened to you

 

 

Fly, you fools!



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

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Lyrabelle Rumble
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Hah!  That's great! :)

 

Slipsee Diggle
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Oh, how love this - so clever, better than original, me thinks.



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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Yay!

Ummmmmm....Jeannie C. Riley...Harper Valley PTA...ummmmm

 

I wanna tell you all a story 'bout a Morgul Valley widowed wife,

Who had a hundred daughters who attended Morgul Valley Junior High,

Well her daughters came home one afternoon and didn't even stop to play,

And they said."Mom we got a note here from the Morgul Valley PTA."

 

Well the note said, "Mrs. Shelob, you're hanging your webs up way too high.

It's reported you've been killin' and runnin' round with orcs and goin' wild.

And we don't believe you oughta be a bringin' up your little girls this way."

And it was signed, The Mouth of Sauron, "Morgul Valley PTA."

 

Well it happened that the PTA was gonna meet that very afternoon.

And they were sure surprised when Mrs. Shelob really did squeeze into the room.

And as she skittered up to the Black Gate, I still recall the words she had to say.

She said I'd like to address this meeting of the Morgul Valley PTA.

 

Well, that Uruk Shagrak's sittin' there, and seven times he's asked me for a date.

And Mrs. Shagrak seems to use a lotta ice, whenever he's away.

And Mr. Radbug can you tell us why your master seargant had to leave this town?

And shouldn't strange Snaga be told to keep his armored skirt a pulled completely down.

 

The Mouth of Sauron couldn't be here cause he stayed too long at Nazgul Bar again.

And if you smell Captain Gorgbag's breath you'll find he's had a little nip of gin.

And then you have the nerve to tell me, you think that as a mother I'm not fit.

Well this is just a little Rivendell, and you're all Morgul Valley hypocrites.

 

No, I wouldn't put you on because, it really did happen just this way.

The day that Shelob socked it to, the Morgul Valley PTA.

The day that Shelob socked it to, the Morgul Valley PTA



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

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GAMUTDOROK
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Morgul Valley PTA... hilarious..haha! Luventhariel, you're sooo talented poet and you gave me nice giggle to start new year, thanks :D

 

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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

This one is a work in progress, because it's just soooooooo incredibly long......I'll have to add a few more verses later.  This is what I've got so far...decided to go big, with "what would happen if Holly Hornblower's pies were really poisoned...

 

A take on:

American Pie - Don McLean

------------------------------

 

A long long time ago

I can still remember how

Sweet Holly used to make me smile

And I knew if I had my chance

That I could make those hobbits dance

And maybe they'd be happy for a while

 

But thoughts of Gerd made me shiver

With every letter I'd deliver

Bad news on the doorstep

I couldn't take one more step

 

I can't remember if I cried

When I read about his widowed bride

Something touched me deep inside

The day Gerd Whitfoot died

So

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Did you find the Founding Writ?

And do you know Foxtail's looking for it?

If Adelard tells you so?

Do you have fun at festivals?

Can music save your hobbit soul?

Can Oger teach me how to dance real slow?

 

Well, I know that you can dance Step three

'Cause I saw you dancin' by the Party Tree

No hobbits wore their shoes

Man, I dig those rhythm and blues

 

I was a hobbit wearing a mask like a duck

With a Giant Flower, running amuck

But I knew I was out of luck

The day Gerd Whitfoot died

I started singin'

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Now, eleventy years we've been on our own

And Hobbiton's still our milestone

But, that's not how it used to be

 

When the jester sang for the king and queen

In a coat he borrowed from the Stonedeans

And a voice that came from you and me

 

Oh and while Sauron was doing his thing

Isildur stole his Ruling Ring

The Second Age was adjourned

No verdict was returned

 

While fighting for some skirmish marks

The Breakfast Club practiced in the park

And we sang dirges in the dark

The day Gerd Whitfoot died

We were singin'

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Helter skelter in a summer swelter

The Eagles flew off looking for shelter

Back to Arador's End flying fast

 

While Eregion is full of grass,

The fellowship tried the Redhorn Pass

With Saruman making a winter blast

 

Now Echad Dunann smelled like perfume

While hobbits played a marching tune

We all got up to dance

Oh, but we never got the chance

 

'Cause when the dwarves tried to take the field

The hobbit band refused to yield

Do you recall what was revealed

The day Gerd Whitfoot died?

We started singin'

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Added:

Oh, and there they were all in one place

A fellowship lost in space

With no time left to start again

 

So come on Sam be nimble, Sam be slick

Sam pulls out a frying pan real quick

'Cause pottery is the Gamgee's best friend

 

Oh and as I saw the Methel-stage

The fireworks went on a rampage

No hobbit from here to Stock

Could outshine that Meriadoc

 

And as Nazgul climbed high into the night

The ringwraith's looking for a fight

I saw Sauron laughing with delight

The day Gerd Whitfoot died

He was singin'

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

I met a girl who sang the blues

And I asked her for some happy news

But she just smiled and turned away

 

I went down to old Holly's store

Where I'd had pie many years before

But the man there said the pie wasn't safe

 

And in the streets the children screamed

The lovers cried, and the poets dreamed

But not a pie was eaten

The hobbits were all beaten

 

And the hobbits I admire most

Frodo and Bilbo both white as a ghost

Caught the last elf-boat on the coast

The day Gerd Whitfoot died

And they were singing

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

Bye, bye Holly Hornblower's Pie

Road my pony to the levee but the levee was dry

And them good ole boys were drinking Toad's Tongue and rye

Singin' this'll be the day that I die

This'll be the day that I die

 

 

 



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

This one was easier, because I didn't really have to re-write it as thoroughly.  From the Charlie Daniels Band tune The Legend of Whooley Swamp, I give you:

 

The Legend of Rushock Bog

 

If you ever go back into Rushock Bog son you better not go at night

There's things out there in the middle of them woods

That'd make a hobbit die from fright

There's things that crawl and things that fly

And things that creep around on the ground

And they say the ghost of Lucias Took gets up and it walks around

 

[Chorus:]

But I couldn't believe it, I just had to find out for myself

And I couldn't conceive it, I never would listen to nobody else

No I couldn't believe it, I just had to find out for myself

That there's some things in this Shire you just can't explain

 

The old Took lived in the Rushock Bog way back by the Bindbale Wood

And he never did do a lot of harm in the world

But he never did do no good

Most folks didn't think too much of him

They all thought he acted funny

The old Took didn't care about other folks anyway

All he cared about was his money

He'd stuff it all down in small glass jars and bury it all around

But on certain nights if the moon was right

He'd dig it up out of the ground

He'd pour it all out on the floor of his shack

And run his fingers through it

Old Lucias Took was a greedy hobbit

And that's all there ever was to it

 

[Chorus]

 

The Sackville boys were bad trash they lived over in Waymeet

They were a real snake and sneaky as a cat

And belligerent when they'd speak

One night the oldest brother said ya'll meet later in the Rushock Bog

We'll get old Lucias' money and we'll pitch him to the giant frogs

They found the old Took out in the back with a shovel in his hand

And thirteen rusty small glass jars he just dug up out of the sand

And they all went crazy and they beat the old Took

Then they picked him up off the ground

Then they threw him in the swamp and they stood there and laughed

Till the black water sucked him down

Then they turned around and went back to the shack

And they picked up the money and ran

But they hadn't gone nowhere when they realized

They were running in quicksand

And they struggled and screamed but they couldn't get away

Then just before they were gone

They could hear that old Took laughing

In a voice that was loud and strong

 

Now that's been fifty years ago an' if you go back by there again

There's a spot in the yard in back of that shack

Where the ground is always wet

And on certain nights if the moon is right

And you're down by the dark footpath

You can hear three hobbits screaming

And you can hear that old Took laugh

 



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

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shawnt63
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Luvey you have a talent for writing these :) Awesome!



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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Tee Hee...

Two Princes, by Spin Doctors:

 

Yeah

One, two, hobbits kneel before you

That's what I said, now

Hobbits, hobbits who adore you

Just go ahead, now

One has marbles in his pockets

and some bread, now

This one, said he wants to buy you lockpicks

Ain't in his head, now

 

Aah, dee, dee, dee, dee

 

This one, got a hobbit racket

That's what I said, now

Got some feathers upon his jacket

Ain't in his head, now

You marry him, your gaffer will condone you

How 'bout that, now

You marry me, your gaffer will disown you

Eat 'is Bounder's hat, now

 

Marry him or marry me

I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?

I ain't got no smial or a party tree

But I know what a hobbit lover ought to be

I know what a hobbit lover ought to be

 

Said, if you want to call me baby

Just go ahead, now

And if you like to tell me maybe

Just go ahead, now

And if you wanna buy me flowers

Just go ahead, now

And if you like to talk for hours

Just go ahead, now

 

Said

 

One, two, hobbits kneel before you

That's what I said, now

Hobbits, hobbits who adore you

Just go ahead, now

One has marbles in his pockets

and some bread, now

This one, said he wants to buy you lockpicks

Ain't in his head, now

 

Marry him or marry me

I'm the one that loves you baby can't you see?

I ain't got no smial or a party tree

But I know what a hobbit lover ought to be

I know what a hobbit lover ought to be

 

Said, if you want to call me baby

Just go ahead, now

And if you like to tell me maybe

Just go ahead, now

And If you wanna buy me flowers

Just go ahead, now

And if you like to talk for hours

Just go ahead, now

 

etc.

 



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

Happy

 
Slipsee Diggle
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Haha, love these, Luv - so much fun! Great job! <3 



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Luventhariel
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re: Lyrical Re-writes

Thought I'd put this in here, before it gets lost...

Slipsee Diggle wrote:

Anthem of The Appledumpling Gang (music: Ballad of Jed Clampett)

 

Come and listen to a story about the Appledumpling Gang

a bunch of little hobbits whose song is being sang

We went to Michel Delving just trying to have some fun

but the townsfolk there sent us off to Hobbiton

 

North, that is. Ivy Bush. Party Tree.

 

Well, the first thing you know our gang began to grow

We got more apples than Lobelia has pie dough

But we really don't mind cuz it takes a lot of folk

to see that the Apples are shipped out in bulk.

 

Raids, that is. Two groups, shared drops.

 

Well, now it's time to say goodbye to the Appledumpling Gang

We'd all like to thank you folks for listenin' worth a dang

You'll prob'ly see us out sometimes somewhere in Middle Earth

sharing all our gold and songs and hopefully some mirth

 

Appledumplings, that's what we call ourselves.

 

Bad folks, we're coming for ya now, ya hear?  

 :)



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Luventhariel Ascarloss o Myrcwudu. Elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo!  

"It is better to have more lightning in your hand, than thunder in your mouth" - Ingwë Morfion

I'm also Appletart, Tettra, Vangella, Villrvif and Whosagoodpuppy here on Crickhollow; and Luventhariel and Jil on Landroval too.   Happy

 

Happy

 
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